Sort out the Whit

I stumbled onto a random bootleg recording of a round-table that involved questions with some of the Plan B Marketing Team. I must say, from a marketing perspective, they know how to keep their message concise. Plan B; Because why even bother with whatever Plan A is. I remember the last time I had to buy Plan B. Afterwards as a sort of token of appreciation and like for my company (the second I can only suppose) I was invited and treated to some place with Sunday bottomless Mimosas. The nice thing about bottomless Mimosas is they instantly erase the smug Rite-Aid clerks from your mind. It was my return to Whittier for the first time since I left a four year relationship. I had never been in the entire city before I had known that relationship, nor after I ended it. Entering the city via familiar freeways made it blatant in my mind that she and the city were inexplicably linked, even if I was just trying to get rocks in a cup and my own metaphorical rocks off with a totally different girl that just happened to live there. Some guy some where once said; you never die more than 5 miles from where you were born. But that is bullshit, it’s far too simplistic. The more interesting phenomenon is how merely entering a city can produce a gloom cloud over the mind because it is associated with a past love.

Now and Later, Never Again

Now and Later candies has to come out with an extreme sour version.

This is because the regular sour Now and Later’s are a joke to any person serious about sour candy.

Sadly Now and Later has learned nothing from their original attempt at the sour candy market.

Now and Later Extreme Sour are about as extreme as being in a coma where your one and only dream is paint drying.

Now and Later? Nope, never again.

Winnetka Man

Every once in while while I am at the 7-11 by my house I catch a sighting of Winnetka man. I have in my 24 years seen many types of crazy homeless people, and even on semi sub conscious level categorized them into groups, as I think we all have, just automatically. Types if you will. Winnetka man does not fall into A type.

Something snapped in Winnetka Mans mind one day and though he went off the rails mentally everything about his appearance remained the same. As far as I can tell, this happened roughly two years ago, I can only gather this because Winnetka man remains incredibly physically fit for a homeless person. The best way to describe him is like an even taller Jerry Seinfeld. And he has the personality too but we’ll get to that later in the analysis of this interesting specimen.

Winnetka man also apparently had lots of money at some point, this is gathered by the watch he still wears and the clothing he has which is fitted but heavily dirtied from homelessness. He’s also physically fit, the sort that payed for a personal trainer for at least one full year and stuck with it. Also it appears to be the case, Winnetka man looks like he did something important at some point two years ago, then he snapped and now he is demented in an always playful way.

Like his brain was switched with that of a golden retriever and he just wants to have fun at 7-11 and no matter how much they yell at him he thinks they are trying to play with him.

It doesn’t just seem that he did something important, Winnetka man is intelligent. Winnetka man recites things he could have only learned from expensive sources, full texts of law that nobody within probably 10 miles except me and himself know.  We would probably get along swimingly. It’s hard to find people who read full texts of the law, those people usually also have opinions and so the conversation begins. However Winnetka man is insane, and I do mean insane. His eyes do not change from one mode, which is fully open, and he is never not smiling. He’s like the Joker from Batman, or like that cat from Alice in Wonderland but in a more adult themed version of it.

So it’s very interesting. Winnetka man rarely stays for more than 5 minutes, he did something very bad to the Indian once and now when he comes in the Indian yells “get out you motherfucker” with such a strong indian accent that I thank God someone taught this man the word motherfucker. Winnetka Man does not get scared, Winnetka man chuckles, playfully, not obnoxiously. It appears Winnetka man is living in a world where this is all a game, a video game before his eyes but with infinetly more possibilites. It’s very creepy and interesting to see. The Indian only has two sentences in his reserve, he’s an 50ish guy with glasses that is pissed off at life in a little red vest. His first sentce repeatedly yelled probably about 9 times is “Get out you motherfucker”, to this Winnetka man says” comon, give me the beer for a dollar” all the whilst smiling heavily and backing towards the door, he’s left the beer on counter, this is all just fun and games to him. Winnetka. By the way, the beer is actually only a little over a dollar, it’s Rolling Rock and it’s a tiny amount and it’s perfectly okay for when you want something watery. I don’t think Winnetka man has any dependencies, not to drugs or to alcohol. I don’t think Winnetka man craves that beer or anything else. Winnetka man is very interesting and so I am still exploring theories about him. Because it does not seem he is driven by anything in particular. He never changes from that smile like some kind of a smiling zombie, his face never changes to a surprised, shocked or scared look. It’s a very odd thing to see.

The best I can tell Winnetka Mans mind has gone into perpetual state of playful anarchy at the age of 40 something, he went and transformed from successful money making executive/something or other to a beach bum over night and decided to try and mesh the two styles, because fuck it. Why not.

Cog in the Wheel, Chip on the Shoulder

This is a guide, not one that I’m following necessarily but one that I may have to start acting and thinking in the vein of in order to better adjust to the forces in charge. While attempting to keep my individuality and soul.

Step one, Accept.

Accept that there are assessment tests in some of these online applications that ask you the same questions over and over, worded differently in hopes of tripping you up. Agree, Disagree, Strongly Agree, Completely Disagree, Neutral and so on and so forth.

A company should stick to tired and proven marketing practices. Strongly Disagree, if anything you’re company could benefit from trying a lot of new things, I notice them, but that’s because I know propoganda, and you guys are doing a piss poor job of it. I can help, but I’m applying for the cashier position so stating that I strongly disagree makes me sound like an anarchist trying to infiltrate the company from the bottom and moving up, only to cause chaos in marketing practices that may affect your ever so lightly changing stock price. Don’t rock the boat. However neutral is not the answer for any of these question either, I figure neutral is like an I decline to answer but because I am scared what you may think of my TRUE ideas.

So the whole thing is nuts, it’s some kind of a personality test that was probably sold to this company and dozens of others for a crap ton of money and is supposed to determine something. Though I am unsure what, except for the fact that human beings think and analyze things differently and no test will ever get you the ideal employees. But rather the ones that are particularly craft at smoking weed in your backroom. But that’s been the case all along, you might as well just interview everybody and see who looks less like someone that would do such a thing, rather than relying on this “assessment test” which frankly assesses very little.

co-sign with me, win-win for your mind and my credit.

Mirrors covered in star looking white spots.
Brush your teeth vigorously kid.
Doesn’t matter, The city dictates your teeth are not perfectly straight, and you’re fucked there, whiten later.

They like a tan, but you look red, mishaps have set your course on walking through the rays of a sun that’s constantly burning you. Hard labor can forget itself in your apparently red neck, even though you never perform it.

sugary plastics person-like creatures and their land has not been good to you as of late. There are many other places that offer the same pulls as this place but, well, it’s just
categorical about its looks, and somehow you have found yourself with a love/hate for double edged sword that is being categorial about looks. What will you do? preferably enjoy yourself.

theres a typical “Angeleno” in the form of a sales girl, at a dealership or wherever this corporate yes woman of a human being encounters you ; she tells you your credit is off by twenty points, this may seem discouraging but leave remembering, her mind is off by many more.

Lemons, Old People and Purified Water

Isn’t it ironic Ommwriter? I removed you from my dock because I hadn’t used you in a long while and also because you’re a distraction free editor and I would accidentally click you and you would just take over the whole place. And now I need you. Well I went all in this time, got out my big ol Sennheisner ear muffs and everything.

Let us take a look at these lemons, swimming around in my water. They have been so for about 3 days now. The water is purified, the lemons have changed taste only ever so slightly. Normally, when this situation is ongoing with spring water the lemons taste will change quicker to something that doesn’t resemble the lemon taste at all. We are talking about a cup of water here. Not like in a frdige or anything. So anyway, here we have this lemon that’s swimming in varying amounts of water, but never left without water to swim in. And in purified water, it keeps it’s taste longer than in spring water. Is this because the tiny molecules and microbes in spring water are eating that motherfucker alive the whole time. I don’t know. Further, if you put this lemon outside of water it will die much quicker. The lemons life is extended in essence because it is always floating around in water, and it’s most extended when it’s in purified water. So, can we dip our pruny old people into purified water for insane amounts of time and hope that they come out all young looking and shit, we are made of like 90 percent water right, maybe we just need to add it back to spots that don’t get it when you drink the stuff. This would be a great medicare program, you take an old person, you dip em in purified water, or just have them sit there for like a long time. So they can breathe of course, you see these in your spam box all the time, walk-in hot tub and shit.